I’m working on a story for NYMag.com on changing definitions of virginity, and I’m looking for real life stories to include in the piece.
The main questions I’m interested in are:
- How did you define virginity before you became sexually active?
- If you are/have been sexually active, how do you define virginity now?
- Does virginity feel like a relevant concept to describe your sexual experiences, or lack thereof? Why/why not?
Keen to hear thoughts and experiences from men, women, gay, straight, trans, cis, virgins, non-virgins, etc. You can reach me via email, or send me a message via Tumblr. As always, I’m happy to use pseudonyms if desired.
So, Courtney Stodden is a feminist, apparently. So is Miley Cyrus. And Selena Gomez says Lorde isn’t one, because “she’s not supporting other women.” Which means Selena, presumably, is.
It’s easy to roll yours eyes at all this – and part of me is tempted to – but I also think it’s really interesting. After years of (unwarranted) handwringing about young women turning away from feminism, and celebrities distancing themselves from the word, is feminism actually… cool?
What does it mean that all these young celebrities are suddenly dropping the F-Bomb left and right? What do they mean when they use the word? And does it matter what they call themselves if they don’t act like feminists? Whatever “acting like a feminist” actually means these days.
Is it just an effective tool to get attention, or does it reflect a genuine belief?
Am thinking of writing something on this, and would love to know your thoughts.
Related: "She lost all her innocence / She said ‘I am not a feminist.’"
Did you know that I run my own supper club?
I launched Hub Suppers in June this year with Impact Hub Islington, the London coworking space for people working in the social justice, tech and creative industries, where I moonlight as a member host.
I’ve long been obsessed with the way that people do (and don’t) connect. Why networking events always set most people’s pulses racing, as we search awkwardly and at random for a stranger to talk to. Why people feel alienated by the communities that are supposed to serve them, and what community organisations can do to become more open and accessible. What makes people feel welcome and safe, and what leaves them feeling isolated.
So I wanted to start a supper club that did more than provide a cool/pretty room and some tasty food. I wanted to create a supper club where making conversation with the stranger sitting next to you wouldn’t feel awkward, because that stranger had been hand-selected to sit next to you based on your mutual interests and enthusiasm for meeting new people. And besides, the whole point of the night was to talk to interesting strangers. An individually curated dinner party where the guests are as interesting as the food.
We’re currently pulling things together for our fourth Hub Supper, scheduled for Wednesday, 11 December. If you buy your ticket by next Wednesday November 20, we’ll find out what you’re into and who you’d like to meet. Then, based on the information you provide us, we’ll match you with your dream dinner companions. Jude Law might be a bit of stretch, though.
It will be ace. It always is.
You can by your ticket to the December Hub Supper here.
"Other than that fear and the constant feeling of loss of an essential part of the self, life turns out to be so much easier when you’ve turned off the part of your brain that does writing! I have a job now where I work during the weeks and for the first couple of months of it I was in the library each weekend working on the book, but now my weekends areweekends. I experienced the feeling of “TGIF” for the first time in years on 10/11 and I probably don’t have to tell you that TGIF is A GREAT FEELING. I’ve had so much time these past few weeks to hang out and have fun and organize and clean and budget and transfer balances from one credit card to another and make obsessive plans for the future. Does that not sound fun? It has been GREAT. One of the things about working on a book, at least for me — and probably it doesn’t have to be this way! — is that you spend a lot of time in “finals week mode.” Like, years on end. Neglecting your body, your friendships, your family and your finances because nothing is more important than your book. Some of that damage will take years to undo (financial, mostly), but my skin already looks better. Not writing a novel is a beauty treatment. Not writing a novel is a spa vacation. Not writing a novel is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, except the nagging terror that this happiness is temporary and fake and could shade into misery the minute I try to start another one."
Go read the whole thing here.
I can’t remember the last time I felt TGIF. (Maybe for a week or two after this?) I’m not sure TGIF is even a possible feeling for me anymore. Even when I had a “normal” job, I would still always find ways to fill my weekends and evenings with deadlines and Things I Ought To Be Doing.
Right now, I am kind of content to just bury myself in words, though. Going over and over them with a comb until finally they appear in the right order, with the right heart.
reverse image searching that last pic you reblogged gave me the artist Andrea Mary Marshall. While I couldn't find that piece in question on her website, if you google her name together with "omega collektiv" (some kind of fashion blog, it seems), the first link should be a collection of her work, including the one you wanted the source for. Hope this helps!