Musings of an Inappropriate Woman

Part of the ongoing collaboration between Laurie Penny and Molly...

Mon, 28 May 2012 13:52:29 +0100

Part of the ongoing collaboration between Laurie Penny and Molly Crabapple, at The New Inquiry (via thenewinquiry)

“Behind every successful woman is herself.”

Sun, 27 May 2012 14:24:23 +0100

“Behind every successful woman is herself.”

Hardcore, hard-wired: How the prevalence of porn is changing our everyday lives.

Sun, 27 May 2012 11:18:00 +0100

Hardcore, hard-wired: How the prevalence of porn is changing our everyday lives.:

I’m quoted in the Independent today. “Has spent the past three years travelling to three continents, interviewing more than 150 young people to see how realistic our current views of sex and porn actually are” sounds so much more glamorous than “spends her days writing magazine articles from her couch”. Although both are technically correct.

Hey Rachel! I was just wondering: how did you start your writing carreer? As in: what did you study, where did you start your first job,... I would like to do something similar to what you are doing right now when I'm a bit more grown-up (I'm 16 now). Thanks!

Thu, 17 May 2012 10:11:00 +0100

Hi Sam. I started my writing career… by writing, and submitting my work until people would pay me for it.

When I graduated from university (Media & Comms, University of Sydney) I knew I wanted to write. I also knew what I wanted to write about (gender, social issues, politics), and who I wanted to be writing for (major newspapers and glossy magazines). I also knew that jobs at said publications were few and far between, and that my chances of getting one were low.

BUT - through my work as an editor at Vibewire, I knew a few other young writers who were getting work at those publications. So I decided to follow their lead and just start submitting my stuff until someone would publish it.

They did - and quite quickly - but it took about a year to turn that into a remotely liveable income, and two years to turn that into actual employment. I later decided I preferred working for myself, and now I’ve been freelancing full time again for two years. I couldn’t be happier, but it’s definitely not for everyone.

Other ways I’ve seen people start careers as writers/journalists include:

- Work experience/interning. The main avenue through which most people I know in magazines and broadcast got hired.
- Cadetships. Common in newspapers and broadcast.
- Taking jobs at less glamorous publications (trade magazines, local papers, etc) and leveraging that experience to get their foot in the door at their dream gig.
- Starting a blog and turning it into a business.

None of them are easy (or foolproof!), but all have worked for someone. I hope that helps. :)

The loop and the crash

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:55:00 +0100

For me, creative/intellectual energy tends to come in cycles.

There I’ll be, bounding along, bubbling over with ideas and saying yes to everything (even things that, if I applied the laws of physics, I’d know I probably don’t have time to do).

Then, out of nowhere, comes the crash. That period in which I become bogged down in anxiety and fear, unable to do anything more than mindlessly surf the internet. The more self-sabotaging my behaviour, the more anxious I become, until even the smallest tasks become a Big Freaking Deal. Much easier to dive back into the mindless activity.

Which is why I liked this post. At first I thought it was going to give me advice about stamping out procrastination. Then I realised the real point was that you can never escape procrastination entirely.

As Fabian writes:

Procrastination is part of the loop.
It costs energy and motivation and time. It costs what we call our life.
It costs the life of that girl.

It costs a whole chunk of life – an hour, a day, a week, a month – until she finally gets back to her core.
Back to what she is.
Back to what she wanted to create.
Back to her art.

Because as unbeatably enthralling as creative or intellectual work is, it’s also scary and confronting and draining. And at some point, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably going to crash.

And while you may not be able to avoid the crash entirely, you can control what you do once you’re in it.

You can accept it as the reminder that it is that your brain and body has its limits. And once you’ve given in to those limits - and this is the most important bit - you can climb back out of it again.

How do you deal with “the loop”?

Elsewhere: The Loop (The Friendly Anarchist)

How to lose your virginity: a feminist's guide to battling purity culture.

Wed, 09 May 2012 00:34:48 +0100

How to lose your virginity: a feminist's guide to battling purity culture.:

My latest at Daily Life.

“People seem to have totally false ideas about what the...

Tue, 08 May 2012 22:01:09 +0100

“People seem to have totally false ideas about what the hymen is…”

emilianadarling:

Laci Green (at her Tumblr or her Youtube channel) discussing the myth of the hymen. Click here to watch the whole video. (x)

Guest Post: HBO'S Girls and The Story of a (Multicoloured) Girl

Mon, 07 May 2012 22:53:00 +0100

I love this guest post by Melbourne writer and actor Nicole Lee, and I think you will too.

I love Lena Dunham. Say what you will, but the fact that the girl wrote, directed and acted in her own show, while at the same time managing to make a nuanced commentary on the struggle of today’s Internet drenched, recession happy, self-focussed generation - before the age of 25 no less - makes the star of HBO’s new series ‘Girls’ nothing short of a genius.

Much has been made of the ‘whiteness’ of the ‘Girls’ world over the past week. I won’t repeat all the arguments here (you can read some very compelling and insightful arguments online: Hairpin, Jezebel, Racialicious, Gawker and an entire Room For Debate on New York Times), but the general gist of it is that for a TV show that paints the Gen Y female experience with such painful clarity, the glaring absence of ‘ethnic’ (and I put that in quotation marks because everyone is ethnic to some culture or another) characters seems a sore disappointment.

I have only seen one episode, the pilot. From its opening scenario I was hooked. As an ambitious drama school graduate, I have had to take on low-paying jobs, accept parental handouts and turn my face away from more ‘stable’ opportunities in the name of becoming a fully-fledged ‘artist’. So too did I identify with the closeness of the female relationships portrayed on the show, their complex relationships with their bodies, and the strange and inexplicable relationships they have with guys - when the males of our generation have been brought up on an easily accessible diet of Internet porn, why wouldn’t you both be convinced of the dysfunctional nature of it? ‘Girls’ resembles my life closer than anything I’ve seen on television. The only other show that came close in terms of values was ‘Sex and the City’ - albeit much glossier and sexier than my life could or would ever be.

So then what’s all the fuss? Before watching the show I had read a glowing cover story in New York Magazine about the show - the brilliance of its star, the openness of her relationship with producer Judd Apatow, the comparisons to ‘Sex and the City’. At back of my mind was the criticism about the cast being all white, but for the first watch I cast it aside. So? I thought. Most American TV shows are. And yet, despite two racial stereotypes popping up (which, it could be argued, is what made the show even whiter), at the end of the half hour it did seem strange that a show about New York had gone by without a single memorable blast of colour.

I got it immediately. Lena Dunham’s characters were all white because she was trying to paint a ‘white people’s problem’. As a child of affluent artistic parents (and indeed all of the lead females are famous progeny, whether it was intentional or not) she had probably grown up around other privileged artistic kids and was portraying what she knew. In making her feature Tiny Furniture, made for an impressive $25,000, not only did she raise capital from family and friends, but her parents gave her their apartment to use and acted in it (like rowing, filmmaking is an elite sport). At Oberlin college, she studied creative writing. White kids everywhere there. Clearly she was surrounded by a supportive and affluent environment.

But on reflection I changed my mind. I had responded to the show because I identified with it. Hipsterdom and artistic lifestyles are not the realm of the white and privileged. At drama school my other ‘ethnic’ classmates were from different privileges and backgrounds, as were my white classmates. I had begun a career pursuing something much more stable but left in the hopes of becoming, much like the ironic comments of Dunham’s character Hannah in ‘Girls’, one of ‘the voice(s) of my generation’. Like the author of ‘Stuff White People Like’ Christian Lander suggests, ‘white people’ really refers to an outlook, not a racial identity: like Hannah my friends and I are ‘left-leaning, inner-city hipsters who believe (we)’re unique — despite the fact (we)’re actually all the same.’ Where was I in this picture?

For some shows, this is excusable. ‘Mad Men’, of course, is clearly about the lives of white advertising men in the 60s (although it does seem strange that only now a prominent black character as been brought in). ‘Game of Thrones,’ which I dearly love, is obviously based on a mythology whose otherness is based around dragons and ‘white walkers’ (although Starz new TV series ‘Marco Polo’, to be shot in China and based around the adventures of Kubla Khan’s court, might now soon appease those who have been wondering when the world was going to get its first English-language epic Asian historical fantasy series, myself included). ‘Friends’ and ‘Seinfeld’ were made in times when whitewashing was the norm. But with The Wire’s Baltimore, Glee’s Ohio highschools and Grey’s Anatomy’s Chicago being racially, sexual orientation and size and shape diverse, should not Girls’s 2012 New York be assorted also?

It has been odd reading about the issues of race on television and film in the US recently, because in Australia the lack of diversity casting is so widespread that it has always been the case to look towards the Northern Hemisphere for examples and support. Many times as a young actor I have been advised that of someone of colour I should go to the US to look for work, and in all honesty, the numbers look more promising. On ‘Hawaii Five-O’, two lead actors are of Korean origin; ‘Heroes’ and ‘Lost’ promoted heavily diverse ensemble casts; ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is a pioneer of colour-blind casting; ‘The Office’, ‘Modern Family’ and ‘The Good Wife’ all offer diverse casts in all areas, including race. In Australia growing up I was spurred on by the Asian faces I saw reflected back at me in local children’s television shows; as an adult, however, I see myself rarely, if at all. Recently, the government body ABC’s high quality TV drama ‘The Slap’ observed a highly colourful and eclectic portrait of contemporary Australia; however these kinds of shows are uncommon and rare.

But it is clear that this is a systemic problem, not just one of a single network or television show. In both the US and Australia, the lack of diversity amongst casts on stage and screen means that entire cultural groups are being denied their right to be part of their nation’s story. What we want to see is not necessarily our ‘refugee’ stories or ‘slave’ stories or ‘immigration’ stories, (although these stories are valid too and deserve their own space and come with their own set of struggles and limitations - something misunderstood by ‘Girls’ staff writer Lesley Arfin in this Twitter post), but our faces as the common people; the girl who goes to college, sleeps with the wrong guy, stresses over money. Any of these characters on ‘Girls’ could be white; but just as easily they could be of African, Asian or Mediterranean descent. And it would still be the story of a girl.

This gif set majestically relates to both an article I’ve...

Thu, 03 May 2012 16:27:07 +0100

This gif set majestically relates to both an article I’ve written and an article I’m currently writing. (via chescaleigh)

"I would not dismiss them. I think one wants to subvert them."

Thu, 03 May 2012 16:24:22 +0100

“I would not dismiss them. I think one wants to subvert them.”

- The Nation editor Katrina vanden Heuvel on women’s magazines.

In news that will not shock you in the slightest, I agree. And I know more than a couple of ladymag editors who feel the same way.

"Mann writes about her daughter’s complaint that today, not working outside the home and..."

Thu, 03 May 2012 15:57:20 +0100

“Mann writes about her daughter’s complaint that today, not working outside the home and enjoying motherhood is looked upon with scorn. What I see is the wider issue that most of our choices, as women, are looked upon with scorn. To work, or stay at home. Have a “career”, or a “job”. Have children when we’re 20, or when we’re 30. Send them to nursery while we work, or spend all our time with them. Pursue personal interests, or have none. Be open about enjoying sex, or be open about having issues with it. Society sets us up to judge the choices of others, creating “wars” and “catfights” rather than encouraging us to press for change. And it is this that often prevents us from seeing the bigger picture, so keen are we to assert the validity of whatever choices we’ve made.”

- Hannah Mudge: The Fifties: a warning from history

Marina + the Diamonds. “Primadonna Girl”. I love her. (via...

Thu, 03 May 2012 12:02:00 +0100

Marina + the Diamonds. “Primadonna Girl”.

I love her.

(via lipstick-feminists)

I would love your opinion. I have always been what is traditionally considered "feminine" but I have also always considered myself a feminist. I haven't felt that the two were mutually exclusive, but lately I've been starting to worry. Is there anything wrong with wearing makeup & being "girlie" as a feminist? I've also seen radfem statements that heterosexuality is antifeminist. What's your take on this? I can't help being hetero - and my relationship is very equal and independent. So confused!

Wed, 02 May 2012 23:32:00 +0100

I think you know the answer to this already, but of course! Are feminist arguments about make-up and compulsory heterosexuality valid? Sure. It is absolutely true that we inhabit a culture that tells women that we are prettier and altogether better people if we wear make-up (or if we just look like we’re wearing it). It’s also true that we live in a society that makes it a hell of a lot easier to be heterosexual than, well, anything else.

But that doesn’t mean that putting on make-up or dressing yourself in a traditionally feminine way can’t be a positive and (dare I say it?) empowering experience. And there are certainly plenty of women out there who are heterosexual… because (shock, horror) they just like having sex with men. I definitely don’t buy the argument that heterosexuality is innately sexist or disempowering.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Tavi Gevinson: “girls … think that to be feminists they have to live up to being perfectly consistent in their beliefs, never being insecure, never having doubts, having all the answers… And this is not true. And actually recognising all the contradictions I was feeling became easier once I realised that feminism was not a rulebook but a discussion, a conversation, a process.”

She’s a smart cookie.

Why feminism hasn't taken on disability issues yet

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:58:46 +0100

Why feminism hasn't taken on disability issues yet

"Sexual trend spotting makes for big business. Want to give it a try yourself? First, you’ll need to..."

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 23:47:22 +0100

“Sexual trend spotting makes for big business. Want to give it a try yourself? First, you’ll need to make some sweeping generalisations: what a popular novel, for example, reveals about the fantasies of “working women” or, as an article in the UK Times declared, how “no one” (literally no one!) “under the age of 40 seems to have pubic hair”. Second, you should avoid doing too much actual research to prove your claims – forget the joke that “three examples makes a trend”, and instead try no interviews with flesh and blood human beings at all. Third, it must have broader implications. Your story isn’t about a single erotic novel, cult TV show, or video you saw on YouTube, but about the dark and hidden underbelly of human sexuality. Et voila! Instant internet traffic gold.”

- A trend spotter’s guide to female desire

My latest at Daily Life.

"To play a beautiful song for two people or a thousand is the same song, and the amount of thanks you..."

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:10:34 +0100

“To play a beautiful song for two people or a thousand is the same song, and the amount of thanks you receive isn’t part of that song.”

- Seth Godin: Don’t Expect Applause

I talk body image, “real girls” and the difference...

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:02:00 +0100

I talk body image, “real girls” and the difference between problematic cultures and problematic individuals, in this month’s Girlfriend magazine:

The real girl resurgence in recent years isn’t just a response to increasingly unrealistic images of beautiful women – it’s also a response to the increasingly “un-real” technologies used to create them (we’re looking at you, Photoshop and universal Hollywood cosmetic surgery). … [R]ather than taking that out on individual girls and women whose physical appearance might be more culturally celebrated than our own, we should direct our anger and activism at the systems that create those narrow images of beauty and privilege them over everything else.

It is not girls who are skinny or symmetrically featured or who wear lots of makeup who are the problem, but a culture that says girls who are all those things are cuter, cooler and more worthy of our attention than girls who aren’t – not to mention a culture that says even if you are all those things (whether you got there through your own efforts or the genetic lottery), you could still look “better” if you had Photoshop to trim your waist, thicken your hair, enhance your breasts or straighten your nose.

Love this interview with my friend Danielle Meder.

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 13:59:00 +0100

Love this interview with my friend Danielle Meder.:

At ‘It’s OK For Intellectual Feminists To Like Fashion’. Swoon.

The best of the rest of the internet

Sun, 22 Apr 2012 23:30:15 +0100

Mirror Self Shot of Vermeer’s “Girl with a Pearl Earring”. (Rawz via Something Changed)

Most articles on sugar daddies? Yawn. Laurie Penny on sugar daddies? Actually interesting:

Frantic ads like this did not begin with the global downturn, nor with the Internet. You can find them in the back pages of newspapers, scrawled on toilet walls, probably even etched on stones flung into rivers by anguished Romans centuries before Christ was born. The Internet has made the process less furtive, formalizing it within the antiseptic human catalog of online dating. And the current crisis of capitalism is altering gender and sexual relations further, not only by obliging more poor men and women to sell sex to survive, but by bringing financial desperation into our most intimate socio-erotic fantasies. (Salon.com)

“We’ve got to be artists of some kind.” On Girls, Young Adult and The Hunger Games. (3quarksdaily)

Speaking of which… What it cost eight women writers to make it in New York. (The Awl)

And also: how to actually get a job with a liberal arts degree. (Yes and Yes)

What happens when moms tell their daughters they’re too fat?:

When your mother is essentially siding with society that something’s wrong with you, girls don’t have a safe haven to go to when they’re home. You’re being watched and that creates a lot of self consciousness; and the message the girl is receiving quite widely is that when you’re overweight, “I’m going to be on you and you’re going to need me to take over for you because you’re unable to take care of yourself.” And when you’re thin, you’re going to get a lot of accolades and, “I’m going to put you in Vogue and I’m going to cheer you on and be proud of you.” That can backfire. (Buzzfeed)

Ten things to do when you’re feeling hopeless. (How to Save the World)

If childcare and housekeeping were important, men would do them. (Clutch Magazine)

Can the Tea Party take Japan? (The Atlantic)

Guest post: Feminism with benefits is not equal

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 22:02:00 +0100

This is a guest post is by Tonya Vrba, a passionate writer, whose commentary and reporting on health, career and dating issues has been published on various blogs and newspapers. You can learn more about Tonya’s work here.

Last week I rode my bike to the gas station. As I hadn’t ridden it since the beginning of winter, the tires were as flat as I had ever seen them. At the station, I pulled my bike up to the rusty machine that would pump air into my tires. Previously, I had used my parent’s little foot powered air pump. This was my first experience trying to fill at a gas station.

I felt like a stereotype. Look at the helpless maiden in distress try to use the easy machine. I didn’t stand there long before a young man pulled up and graciously offered to help me. Still embarrassed, I accepted. Turns out the machine was far easier to use than I had thought it was.

The thought struck me then that this situation was only right. A man should come to help a woman. Yet, what if I had been a man? Would the same help have been offered to me? To make the situation a bit more gender equal in my head, I offered him two dollars payment – one for each tire. He refused, saying, “my mom would kill me if I took that.”

I bet he would have taken my dollars if I had been a man.

This situation stuck with me as I thought about all the benefits women still draw from stereotypes. Why is it only proper that a man open a door for a woman? Why should the boyfriend or husband take the responsibility to fix her car instead of teaching her how to do it herself? Why does society feel the need to provide us with extra protection based on our gender?

There is no harm is having doors open or receiving assistance when you need it, but in the name of equality, don’t men deserve the same?

Here is an example from my college life at the University of Iowa. In the past, the university has had problems with sexual assaults on women. A service was created in 2007 through the university police called Nite Ride. This offers women free safe rides home, no questions asked. This service has made the college and bar areas safer for women at night.

Should we stop and think about why there is no similar service for men? Granted, there’s not a wide spread problem with men being raped, but that doesn’t mean they are in the clear. In the spring of 2009, there was a series of unprovoked attacks on men. Groups of men would gang up on one, punching and kicking him into unconsciousness. A man can feel physically threaten walking around the bars at night as easily as a woman. While police numbers were increased, no thought was given to adding a male Nite Ride.

What will a future where men and women are equal look like? Will people be just as open to helping a man with car problems for no fee? Will programs similar to Nite Ride have a unisex vehicle? Perhaps it will be just the opposite - and men will treat women the same way they treat other men, expecting them to fix their own cars and to defend themselves when assaulted.

Personally, I hope for a world where we all help each other, open doors for another, help others in need and provide adequate protection when necessary regardless of gender.