I’ve spent the last couple of weeks tearing my hair out over my manuscript as I prepared to send it to my editor this week, picking apart the holes and despairing over how I would ever fill them.
But last night, as I moved all the chapters out of their separate files and into one big one, I experienced a moment of awe.
I did it! I wrote a book! Sure, it’s not perfect and there are about a hundred things I’d like to change about it. But there are 70,000 words on the page, and they are mostly smart and interesting. And just as importantly, they reflect the vision I had when I began working on this project five years ago.
And in that moment at 3am that seemed pretty amazing. Hell, even now, 20 minutes after I sent it off, it seems pretty amazing.
One step closer.
Now for the months of edits and revisions.
Like Hannah Horvath, I’m two weeks from book deadline, so I’ll keep this brief. In fact, I’ll just rip it straight from an email I just sent to a friend, with a couple of additions here and there.
I have been somewhat annoyed by the sex in Season 2 Girls. I feel like the first season was most realistic in its banality (some of the the stuff that happened was offbeat, but the sex was never the point of the show), but the second season has been more sensationalist.
I figured this was a response to all the praise the show got last year for its “gritty”, “unglamorous” depictions of sex, but the exchange between Hannah and her editor in last night’s episode made me think it might be something a little different.
Editor: Where’s the sexual failure? Where’s the pudgy faced liquid semen and sadness? What I’m getting here is a lot of friendship, you know, it’s very Jane Austen, but you know, we were talking about Anais Nin, you know, your life on your back. Right? That’s actually a great title. My Life On My Back.
Hannah: Okay, well I did have sex with a teenager last month, and I’m happy to talk about it.
Editor: I would love to hear about that.
Hannah: I was scared that maybe it was the kind of thing you could get arrested for.
Editor: That’s the kind of stuff we need. You know what I mean? In fact, I just had an epiphany. If you’re not getting fucked right now, make it up. Can you make it a novel?
A meta-commentary on the pressure Lena Dunham is under to make the show less about friendship and more about down and dirty twenty-something sex lives?
As well as, of course, a meta-commentary on how young female writers are asked to exploit their personal lives to get work. (See also: Hannah’s cocaine assignment from the xoJane.com parody, JazzHate.com.)